I grew up as an eldest child. For those of you out there in my position, maybe you share this experience. I was told that to be successful and to do well in life that I needed to do my best and to put 110% into everything I did. Being raised by two care-givers I was dependent on, I listened and did just that! I came to believe on a subconscious level, that my ability to be loved or sense of worthiness in the world was tied to and dependent upon my ability to uphold this standard. I charged through life excelling in school, straight A’s, working tirelessly at night practicing my piano skills, involved in an array of different team sports. I made my self-worth dependent upon what I did in life.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there is complete truth to giving your 100% in all that you do. That way, you avoid regret, guilt and shame. You can walk away from each circumstance, each moment, knowing you put your all-in, so you can fully let go. Being able to let go precedes being able to move forward in life.
The problem with this type of thinking is that when eventual failure creeps in, it sets one up to abandon themselves, leaving you mired in self-judgement, self-blame and self-criticism, which disables growth.
Life is a process. It is an evolving work of art. You learn to walk before you learn to crawl. Now, most of us have learned encyclopedias of information during our time on this planet and we have an ever-expanding toolkit of tasks we can complete successfully and with flair! That said, in learning what you have learnt and coming to the spot of being able to do what you do now, you have had “failures” – you have stubbed your toe, you have fallen down, you might have had the experience of making a joke and hearing nothing but crickets; you have asked someone out and most likely dealt with the pain of rejection. All that said, you were learning and improving and growing, which inherently means that there has been a net gain.
To live a FLAWSOME life, you must embrace all of you. Certain things are easier for certain people, but that said, we all have our strengths, weaknesses, and a set of problems for us to work through in life. Embracing your flaws means, at the end of the day, you don’t dissociate from yourself. Your most important relationship is with YOU!
You take time to find out what you need and what you want out of life and become your biggest advocate and fan. This healthy sense of self-esteem sets you up in life with a semi-permeable membrane, your boundaries, where you decide what in life is allowed in, what will nourish you and what will deplete you. Self-acceptance means accepting all of you, flaws and all! Happy 2017 and here is to embracing a FLAWSOME year!
Dr. K
About the author
Dr. Caitlin Kolbuc, ND, became interested in health and healing after having to deal with her own personal health struggles as a child. She graduated from the Boucher Institute of Naturopathic Medicine.
She is passionate about helping people who want to feel better and maintain good health no matter what age they are. Part of your first meeting will involve an examination of all aspects of your life; medical history, stress levels, nutrition, emotional state, and if necessary diagnostic testing. A Naturopathic physician is part detective, sensitive listener, coach, and as well, great doctor.
Dr. Caitlin’s first question is always, “How can I help you?” Together she will work with you to get your body, mind, and spirit back to the place where you feel like your true self.
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